Thursday, January 20, 2011

"Be it my mask or your blood, red will be the last thing you see..."

For the record, the new Green Hornet sucked. Seth Rogen, on his best days, annoys the crap out of me. Some of his lines were funny, but that's about it. He's all talk and bravado. And an idiot. Huge parts of this movie were incredibly boring. After the death of his domineering father, Britt (Rogen) has to take over his father's newspaper empire. Edward James Olmos is there, but plays so little a part, that I'm not sure why all the Spanish television stations interview him. Rogen meets up with his father's driver and coffee maker, Kato. More on him later. After committing some vandalism and bonding, the two decide to become crimefighters posing as criminals. This story alone should have taken some time and consideration, but it's done all within about a half hour. Oh, and don't see it in 3D--it was useless. Another example of Hollywood using technology there's no need to use. The more exciting scenes were all shown on Mythbusters and the funnest scene, with the Coolio rap "Gangster's Paradise" sing-along, were shown on the commercials.

Acapella Gangster's Paradise

METAL Gangster's Paradise

Kato was played by some Japanese popstar, and was the highlight of the flick. He was certainly written as "Bruce Lee as Kato." Kato's too fast to be seen by cameras--which was one of the complaints that Bruce Lee received when he started playing Kato on the original TV series (made at the same time as the Adam West Batman series). Lee was so fast in his martial arts moves and stunts, he was literally too fast for the camera to capture. Another nod was Lee's one-inch punch. Lee used to do it during competitions where he would put his fist one inch from his opponnet and punch, sending the guy backwards. In the movie, Kato does the same, excepts sends his target through a tiny window. Also, there are nunchucks, Bruce Lee's signature weapon. Can you tell I'm a huge Bruce Lee fan?

The main villain with the impossible to pronounce and remember last name, Chudnofsky (?) was played brilliantly--at first. The top scene of the flick is him facing a creditless James Franco (also Awesome), and getting complaints that his name or his look aren't scary. This is his shtick throughout the rest of the movie. Then, in a stupid plot twist, goes nuts and asks to be called "Bloodnofsky" and the stupid catch phrase above. He starts wearing red and spouting his catch phrase every ten minutes.

So. Not a great movie at all. Hopefully, The Mechanic will be better.

Yesterday's was Buffy The Vampire Slayer's 30th Birthday. I entered a contest to win some free art, but I got runner-up. Which I means I won nothing. Oh well...


  1. Well that sucks. I will skip it then.
    BTW, Bob Tres is reading your blog - I told him to leave comments :)

  2. Yeah.. about Kato. I don't think he was played by a Japanese actor..

    you should get your facts checked.

  3. >Kato was played by some Japanese popstar, and was the highlight of the flick.

    Look Sweets, you're not cute; you're not cool.